50 THINGS to EAT, DRINK, and DO for FALL

colorful gourds and pumpkins for Fall

EAT Fall Foods

1. An Apple a Day

2. Late-Season Figs

3. Back to School Foods. Breakfast-to-go, packed lunches, after school snacks, fast and easy weeknight dinners

4. Grapes

5. Pumpkin Everything: Pumpkin Bread, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Pumpkin Layer Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting and Dulce de Leche

6. Epic Tailgate Party Foods: wings, nachos, sliders, hot dogs, sandwiches, all the chips with all the dips, jalapeño poppers, pizza, salsa and guacamole, and chili

7. NFL Sunday Funday Brunch

8. Pears

9. Oatmeal for Breakfast

10. (Not) Avocado Toast. Avocados are a summer fruit in California, but that doesn’t stop us from smashing, slicing, and spreading them onto toast year-round because we are practically in Mexico, which supplies almost the rest of the world outside California. However, there has been some drama related to avocados from Mexico that I’m too stupid and lazy to research in depth, but have heard enough to draw the conclusion that our cooler season’s avocado supply has been total crap in terms of both supply amounts and actual quality. So maybe let’s try to make toast with other things.

11. Rosemary and Sage

12. Brussels Sprouts. I will never give up roasted Brussels sprouts, but every once in a while a fresh perspective does good for your appreciation of the bitter, sweet, caramelization of roasting. Sqirl’s Shaved and Pan-Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Pear recipe here, and Daphne Oz’s Shaved Brussels Sprouts Salad with Pecorino and Capers recipe here.

13. Cauliflower

14. Mushrooms

15. Winter Squashes. Acorn, Butternut, Delicata, and Kabocha

16. Sweet Potatoes

17. Crudité Platter with Fall Fruits and Vegetables. Cheese boards and charcuterie plates don’t get their own numbered lines here because they are always in season.

18. Oysters. I feel like I’m cheating by putting oysters on this Fall list because not only was it on the Summer list, but I didn’t actually eat any oysters this summer, or any summer for that matter because oysters terrify me, so it’s like I failed and have to give myself another chance to fail, kind of like what happened with Physics 8A, which is a freshman class that I had to take three times.

19. Bone Broth

20. Soups

21. Braises and Stews

22. Slow Cooker foods

23. (Leftover) Halloween Candy

24. Persimmons

25. Pomegranate. Homemade Pomegranate Molasses and Pomegranate Salsa, which I am predicting will overtake cranberry sauce in consumption on my Thanksgiving table this year.

26. Fall Pies: Apple, Pecan, Pumpkin, Sweet Potato

27. ThanksgivingMade healthier. I know. Roll your eyes. But here’s the weird thing. I think this is the year, THIS IS THE YEAR, that 1) my family is willing to break from traditions, namely the Green Bean Casserole without protest and 2) they want foods to be healthier. This comes of course, from all of our, my sisters and I included, aging, and with aging, comes health issues. Hallefuckinglujah! Roasted vegetables! Green salads! Cauliflower puree! But mostly, no more fucking green bean casserole. I also think every year is THE YEAR.

DRINK Fall Drinks

28. Pumpkin Spice Latte. Up until a couple of years ago, I had never once in my life had a Pumpkin Spice Latte, aka PSL for those basic bitches in the know. I finally tried one. I don’t ever need to drink one again. This is on the list not for me, but for you.

29. Carrot Ginger Turmeric Juice. Carrot juice is a warm, welcoming, wide-open gateway to juicing because carrots have natural sweetness so the juice tastes fucking delicious. Until you add fresh turmeric to up the health factor and then carrot juice tastes worse than straight up lawn mower clippings because turmeric tastes like dirt. But anyway, start with carrot juice, and if you can stand the heat, ginger. And if you’re already drinking this combination (I am!), it’s time to level up to adaptogens.

30. Hot Chocolate

31. Hot Toddy

32. Mulled Wine

33. Pumpkin BeerFall Rosé. I am just being realistic here. Pumpkin Beer will never get checked off this list, because I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, fuck that, I still drink rosé.

34. Beaujolais Nouveau

35. Sangria

DO Fall Activities

36. See Fall colors. I live in Los Angeles. I have no idea how to do this.

37. Fall cleaning

38. Go back to school. And learn something. Anything. For God’s sake could you just read a book?

39. Tailgate in an actual parking lot and watch a live football game

40. Visit wine country and go tasting

41. Watch the World Series. Which is really just an excuse to eat Dodger Dogs with Farmers Market Fresh Toppings and all the other trash stadium foods.

WEAR Fall Style

42. Boots. Not ankle boots, or booties, or even Uggs really, which are a category unto themselves so depressing that they have been relegated to last on this list (see #50 below), but 100% legit boots that reach up to your knees to protect your jeans hems, pant cuffs, and legs from the elements if you live anywhere but southern California, and even over-the-knee-boots, to protect your modesty when you’re wearing ass-grazing hemlines, probably in southern California.

43. Dark nail polish

44. Fall uniform

45. Knit beanie

46. Scarf

47. Short, dark hair

48. Sneakers

49. SPF. Every day. Oh, the sun’s not as strong because it’s fall so you think you can get lax about SPF? That is precisely why you have to be hyperaware.

50. Uggs. Ugh.

EXTRAS for FALL

These are things that were originally on the full 90-items-for-90-days of Fall Eat Drink Do Wear list but edited out because we ran out days as we procrastinated deeper and deeper into October, but are included as an afterthought here anyway so that if You did do them already/anyway, you can check them off and feel accomplished, kind of like the way you write-in “Walk the dog” on Your To-Do list after you’ve already done it anyway just to feel better about yourself. Oh, no, not you? Ok, never mind.

  • Apple Cider Doughnuts
  • Caramel Apples
  • Go Apple Picking
  • Visit a Pumpkin Patch
  • Get Lost in a Corn Maize Maze
  • Carve a Jack-o-Lantern
  • Roast Pumpkin Seeds
  • Eat the Candy that Only Comes Out Around Halloween Like Candy Corn and, That’s About It I Guess
  • Wear a Halloween Costume
  • Throw a Halloween Party
  • Go Trick or Treating
  • Wear New Yoga Pants. Please. Even if they’re from Target. Just throw out those faded, fraying, pilling, thinning-in-all-the-wrong-places “pants” you’ve been trying to pass off as pants in Life.
  • Celebrate Día de Los Muertos

And there you go. Let’s compare notes on the last day of Fall, December 20, then start the Winter List! Which, to be honest, will be so easy because it has only, like, four things on it.

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