Cupcakes for Crystal Meth – Sprinkles Cupcakes

sprinkles cupcakes - black and white

Holy Matrimoly, it’s Wedding Week! no. 2

Sprinkles Cupcakes

9635 Santa Monica Boulevard
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
310.274.8765
www.sprinklescupcakes.com

It was to be a bridal shower of historic proportions. So much to plan, so many details, so the tangerine troupe divided and conquered, and I lucked out with…dessert duty. Whatever it would take, provide the dessert with the budget in mind. Oh, please. This is sooo my thing. This was going to be…cake. Literally. Small ones, since those are in fashion, and well, this bridal shower was going to a very fashionable event.

For several weeks, I prepared. I practiced technique. I tested flavors. Espresso mocha babycakes with vanilla cream frosting were good. That is, if they were being honest with me, those lying babycake-nappers! I even succumbed to the hormonal insistence of mommy-to-be and promised red velvet. I had done disco-conut with fuzzy white afros, and, well, I trusted myself enough that a first pass at lemon-ginger with ginger cream cheese frosting would probably turn out okay. I was ready. Cake flour. Perfectly pastel paper liners. Even…garnish.

But in the last minutes before Friday turned into Frinight, whilst last-minute shopping through pink and white and sheer black lacy naughtiness , I had a momentary lapse of culinary. I don’t know what came over me – maybe some deep, booming bass? It was a fleeting thought of “wait, should I…” that turned into a semi-psychotic desperation of “yes, I should, but…”

411…Beverly Hills…a pastry 911…and can I still order? They said yes. Yes! I thanked them for saving my nightlife. Insanity had turned me into a nasty hypocrite and in the end, I let the Funk win out over the Fashion. I am horrible. I am terrible. But I did dance my a** off :)

Sprinkles cupcakes, beverly hills, ca - strawberry cake, strawberry frosting
strawberry – pretty in hello kitty pink

Sprinkles cupcakes are, without question, pretty. A dozen in a box are all uniform in size and shape – regular cupcake size (not like overgrown dewberry muffins – and if you get that reference, you are my hero) and perfectly smoothed-over dome-shaped frosting. On a tiered cake plate, pastel pink and white frosted cupcakes with tiny sugar flower decorations looked so incredibly girlie cute it made me want to oh, I don’t know, punch Hello Kitty. But only lightly. Like a girl.

Sprinkles cupcakes, beverly hills, ca - black and white
too pretty to eat, really

The thing with Sprinkles is that they remind me a lot of some girls I know. Very pretty, beautifully done up. But unfortunately, they cost a lot and once you get past the 2 inches of sugary makeup and expensive accessories, they are dry, bland, and dense. Funny, just like Sprinkles, they’re from Beverly Hills, too! Alright, I’m just kidding. I only make fun because I’m jealous ;)

Three of them I had tried last time: black and white, red velvet (just for Jen), and strawberry. Strawberry was the only one that I thought was decent, with real strawberry puree in the cake and in the pink tinted frosting. But on all of them, the frosting was so sickeningly sweet I could feel it in my teeth, literally. The sugar had not been blended into the butter or the cream cheese, so it was sandy, and I felt like I was getting my teeth cleaned with that gritty fruit-flavored polish that the hygienist scoops out of the tiny plastic pot attached to her finger. I hate that. *shudders*

Sprinkles cupcakes, beverly hills, ca - coconut cake, coconut frosting
please excuse coconut, she’s blonde

The flavor I ordered selfishly just so I could try it was coconut. I had made coconut before for Figi, had planned to bake them again for the BS (that’s BS for bridal shower, of course LOL!), and now wanted to see why people get their tastebuds tangled over Sprinkles’ coconut. Hm, I still don’t know why. Over-sweetness aside, the frosting didn’t taste anything like coconut. The cake was way too dense and heavy, had only the faintest flavor of coconut, and sadly, it really tasted like undercooked pure flour bread dough. Again, it looked pretty all done up with white blonde coconut teased into a flurry, but, well, I did say it was blonde.

The cupcakes had gotten many a cooing oooh when they were served, but by the end of the BS, I saw many a half-eaten cupcake on the tables, and a few with just a single bite taken out. If it weren’t for The Crystal Method, there would have been wrappers only strewn all over the tablecloths. I just know it.

tags :: : : : : : :

Blog Widget by LinkWithin
  • Daily Gluttony

    OK Sarah, that line about punching Hello Kitty cracked me up! I’m picturing cutesy Hello Kitty walking around with a smashed-in face…too funny!

  • sarah

    laughing at hello kitty with a broken and bruised face! you, pam, like me, are just evil. ;)

  • Eve

    Sometimes the dancefloor’s call is just too strong… :)

  • Hilary

    I am so glad you weren’t thrilled by Sprinkles either. I keep hearing people say how wonderful they are, and I just don’t get it. The cake is way too dense and dry, and the frosting is nothing special.

  • Anonymous

    Sarah, you got to try Leda’s cupcakes. I know that would involve going to the Valley (LOL) but they are yummy.
    Lori

  • Anonymous

    Sarah, you got to try Leda’s cupcakes. I know that would involve going to the Valley (LOL) but they are yummy.
    Lori

  • pseudo chef

    They all look so good, especially the one with the blue star.

  • sarah

    i JUST got to try leda’s…six teeny tiny cupcakes that were quite delicious. words to come shortly…

    thank you, eve!!!!

  • Lisa

    They overmix and overbake’em too fast, too hot. I like the analogies. Sweet thoughts…

  • hermz

    You’re such a slacker, Sarah. *tsk tsk tsk*

  • Anonymous

    I had a really good experience with cupcakes. 12 cupcakes – so much better than anything else I’ve had anywhere else. Flavorful and moist and not overly sweet. Amazing how we could have such different experiences…or is it all in perception?

  • sarah

    i am thinking it might just be taste, i.e. what you like, what you had when you were little, etc., which i guess like you are saying, is perception.

    there are a lot of people who love sprinkles because they love that it is so dense and moist, but for me, they are too dense and moist, which i end up describing as dough-y and underbaked. then again, there are people who will think the cupcakes from another bakery are too airy and substanceless, but someone who DOES like them will say that they are soft and fluffy.

    you are right. perception. LOL!

    oh, and hermz…RUB IT IN, WHY DON’T YOU!?!?!

  • Stella

    If you hate Sprinkles so much…quit buying them and writing about them..duh! What I think is sugary is your writing. Tone down the adjectives a bit.

  • Stella

    If you hate Sprinkles so much…quit buying them and writing about them..duh! What I think is sugary is your writing. Tone down the adjectives a bit.

  • sarah

    stella: hey, thanks for the feedback. the thing is, if the majority of the group wants sprinkles, i will get it for them if it makes them happy. but that certainly doesn’t mean i still hold my opinion of sprinkles, and others will hold theirs.

  • Anonymous

    I would love to try some sprinkles… sarah could you get some for me too?

    :-)
    aznLover

    nrgfxmail@yahoo.com

  • Molly

    Well I sure am glad that I haven’t purchased from this place! One thing I absolutely can NOT do is the nitty gritty sandy sugar frosting. It makes me shudder to think about.. dirt in your teeth is NOT pleasant. Yeck.

    -Molly
    Antique Jewelry

Previous post:

Next post: