Double Dog Dare You – Pink’s

pink's hot dogs, hollywood
It was 1:45 in the morning and Jason wanted a hot dog, because you can’t visit LA and not bottom out the evening at Pink’s.

Especially after watching the couple in front of us get turned away by Lola’s bouncer because they weren’t on the guest list, then stepping up to the velvet rope, stating my name knowing full well that it wasn’t on his list since we went to Lola’s on a whim and I didn’t know Lola’s plays velvetrope, the bouncer flipping through the pages attached to his clipboard and not finding my name, then just hand-writing it at the end of the list, asking me “how many with you?”

We went in and had a couple of martinis.

I actually don’t think Lola’s has a very strict guest list policy at all. I think they let everyone in, but it was fun to play the game anyway.

The line at Pink’s was already a millipede in alternating pairs of wedge heels and Diesels, snaking its way back and forth through the posts and chains – a little disheartening and I think at some point someone suggested we call it a night, but Jason was insistent, especially since some of us were little Pink’s virgins. Not I, though. I get around.

We must have been in that line shuffling five or six inches every few minutes for over an hour, but I don’t know for sure because though we got home at some immoral hour, I don’t remember the wait time as being that long. Jason can be very entertaining, even in line at Pink’s. Of course, menu items like the Martha Stewart Dog just feed the comedy fire.

I’m not sure why a polish sausage with cheese, guacamole, fresh tomatoes, and grilled onions is called the Ozzy Osbourne Dog. Hopefully it’s named after the exact combination that the rocker ordered on a post concert visit to the hot dog stand, and not because it sends you into some strange heavy metal shrieking fit. Yikes. It does seem quite fitting that the whole thing is a bloo’y mess, though. :)

pink's hot dogs, hollywood - french fries
the healthiest thing at pink’s – fries
pink's hot dogs, hollywood - Huell Howeser Dog with chili, cheese and onions
2 dogs drown in oil tanker spill

If the Ozzy Osbourne Dog is a mess, well then, I don’t know what the Huell Howser Dog is – two hot dogs drowning in chili, cheese and onions. I didn’t love the chili last time. I didn’t love it this time either. I am wholly in favor of greasy, oily food during afterhours, but it has to at least taste good to balance out the health hazard. Pink’s chili looks like pebbled beef remnants floating in a giant reddish brown version of the Exxon Valdez. It tastes like it, too. I’ve never tasted an oil tanker spill, but I have a very active taste imagination.

I don’t need to go back to Pink’s, but of course, I said that last time, too. First his bed, and now Pink’s. Either I’m way too easy or Jason is a lawyer. ;)

Pink’s Hot Dog Stand
709 North La Brea Ave. (@ Melrose)
Los Angeles, CA 90038
www.pinkshollywood.com

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  • craig

    Oh for the days of after midnight runs to Pinks or Tommy’s, although I have friends who swear by Costco hot dogs. BTW Sarah, that might be the most tantalizing picture of grilled dog ever :)

  • Sylvie

    I can’t believe I have lived in L.A. all my life and I have never had a Pink’s dog. I must change that. This looks absolutely artery clogging delicious.

  • vanessa

    guacamole AND polish sausage? is this quite possibly the world’s most perfect food? (sorry Chiquita banana)

  • sarah

    craig – costco, pink’s, skooby’s, portillo’s…when it all comes down to it, all dogs are the same. it only matters what you do to it. i think pink’s does go a little overboard, though yes, guacamole on a spicy grilled polish sausage is BRILLIANT.

    sylvie – you should go, just to say that you have. that’s what i did :)

    vanessa – yeah, i know, right? guacamole. guacamole!!!!

  • e d b m

    i’ll be voting for Costco. It’s cheap, tasty, comes with a drink and i can drown it w/ all the mayo/mus/ket and onion i can handle. been to pink’s and philippe’s once and that’ll be it. it’s amazing how people flock to joints that have been around for decades, completely ignoring the fact that it’s bland food.

  • marissa

    my problem with pinks is not just the line – the casing is just a little too hard. I love skooby’s though – the lemonade, the double-fried fries with aioli, and they have sauerkraut. for an ex-new yorker, that means something. also, have you tried the hot dog lady outside of variety on wilshire during lunch hour? she’s got some great new york dogs also.

  • david hong

    In the San Fernando Valley, the Wiener Factory has a mean Spicy Polish Dog – highly recommended with red cabbage.

  • Anonymous

    pinks ‘hot-dogs’…more like microwaved dead-dogs mixed with dirt and grease

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