latest poison – stoli and sobe lean

After many many mornings that painfully turned into afternoons of lying in the fetal position wrapped in my binkie on the bathroom floor, I have learned that there’s nothing wrong with excessive drinking (contrary to popular belief). There’s just something horribly wrong with experimental drinking – drinking this and that and trying lots of different cocktails in one night. Pick your poison and stay loyal to it through the night.

so in recent years, i have adopted the “my signature drink” policy – making one drink mine for the night. i finally graduated from those horrible wild shots of remy martin, crown royal, and soju in ridiculous flavors like yogurt or cucumber (yes, all of those in one night) after college, and realized that i was meant to drink clear (not brown) liquors. i can’t remember who it was that eventually introduced me to the dirty martini (was it ryan?). that became my signature cocktail for a stretch of about 6 months – the dirty filthy martini. but those got old, and i didn’t like drinking what eventually tasted like an olive gazpacho. i never watched a single episode of sex and the city, and thankfully, i never became a cosmo girl. the idea of gracefully balancing a dangerously delicate pink drink by a slender glass stem didn’t feel safe, especially since my after-six uniform was always white. i took to mojitos instead, but as refreshing and sparkly as they were, they were worse than the dirty martini – i felt like i was drinking a salad. i flirted with stoli vanilla and diet coke, chambord and 7-up, and even a good old vodka tonic. i knew they would just be short-lived flings because they were way too sweet to keep me interested.

I thought i had finally found my destiny in absolut mandarin and soda. i very clearly remember the night i first tried it – a wednesday night, when transistor lounge was still at nacional. i don’t even like orange flavored anything, but the combination with something that wasn’t sweet, yet sparkling, won me. i hadn’t known anything more about soda water other than it was great for removing certain stains from clothes. who knew you could actually drink it?

It eventually evolved into absolut citron and soda, which was my absolut standard, so much so that even michael at avalon grabs the citron from the back wall before i have to say anything. until two nights ago, when in my personal cocktail hour, i surrendered to desperation. a half bottle of sobe lean, you know those single serving energy juice drinks in the large glass bottles with a lizard painted on it, was the only possible mixer for my vodka in my kitchen. the cranberry grapefruit made a sort of hybrid of a greyhound and cape cod – my then newly christened “capehound” was delicious. of course, i have just found out that i didn’t invent something new. my capehound is actually popularly known as a seabreeze! ai, and to think i was ever a bartender – thanks, hermz! the greatest thing was that it was sweet and non-sparkly, and i still very much liked it.

Was i just desperate for something, anything, with which to make a cocktail that night? was it that the sobe lean was better than the ketchup or the soy sauce that was in my fridge? maybe, but i’ll know better after this saturday night. stoli and sobe, i’ll take seconds!

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