Library Alehouse, Santa Monica – Come and Knock on My Door

library alehouse, santa monica, los angeles, ca - chips and guacamole
Do you ever play that game?

I don’t know what it’s called, but it usually starts with “If we were a tv show…” and for some reason, you and your group of friends pick Friends because everyone picks Friends to play this game. So maybe the game is called “We are Friends.”

Once you and you friends pick Friends, the real game starts, in which everyone tries to match you, your personality, and your lifestyle to one of the characters on the show. “If were Friends, JP would soooo be Ross because he’s all soft and sweet, and shy and sensitive like that and Sarah, you would be…Phoebe. No, Sarah, you are Phoebe’s weird twin sister Ursula!”

For some reason, I have been identified as every character on Friends, depending on which group of people is playing the game with me. I have even been called…Joey.

Wait a second here. Isn’t Joey the stupid one?

However, if I start the game, I never pick Friends because I only watched the first two seasons and couldn’t relate to the show after that. I always pick shows that I remember watching when I was younger, because after Beverly Hills, 90210 went off the air, I pretty much stopped watching tv. Please, don’ try to sell me on The OC as being the 90210 of the new millennium. It’s not. Nothing will ever replace Brandon and Dylan. Nothing.

If we were a tv show, we would be The Love Boat, and I would be…Julie the Cruise Director! Because she always carries a clipboard.

If we were a tv show, we would be The Facts of Life, and I would be…Natalie! Because clearly, the girl liked to eat.

If we were a tv show, we would be Solid Gold, and I would be…one of the Solid Gold Dancers! Because I have fishnet stockings and a gold lamé leotard. (Don’t ask; you don’t want to know.)

If we were a tv show, we would be Three’s Company, and I would be…I don’t know. Sometimes I think I am Chrissy and sometimes I think I am Mrs. Roper. It’s very weird. I loved Three’s Company.

library alehouse, santa monica, los angeles, ca
not really the regal beagle

Three’s Company takes place somewhere in Santa Monica, and even though I know that the Regal Beagle is a figment of some producer’s imagination, a girl can still dream that the Regal Beagle is located somewhere along Main Street. If there truly were such a place as the Regal Beagle, a place where you, Jack, Janet, Chrissy and all your friends, including Larry, go all the time to relax and have a drink, it’s the Library Alehouse. Obviously, the Library Alehouse looks nothing like the navy blue and white interior decor of the Regal Beagle, but *duh*. I tell myself that they wouldn’t keep that ’80s look for 20 years. They remodeled.

Apart from the light-colored wood panelling for walls, lofty ceilings, and a few garage sale knick knacks that look like they came from the fourth bedroom that was converted into a Study, there’s not much “library” to the Library Alehouse. There is always some form of sport playing on a well-placed tv monitor, and the place is usually fairly crowded, though not obnoxiously so. No one is whispering as if it were a real library. No one is sifting through the card catalog scribbling down Dewey decimal codes and no one is swishing through the microfiche. It’s a bar. And who the hell still uses the Dewey decimal system anyway?!

library alehouse, santa monica, los angeles, ca - chips and guacamole
“pan-bar” cuisine includes guacamole

There is no library theme to the menu. In fact, there is no single style of theme nor cuisine dictating the salads, sandwiches, burgers and entrees like Mexican tacos, English fish and chips, American meatloaf, Asian seared ahi tuna with wasabi mashed potatoes (omg, they didn’t. yes, yes they did), and Jamaican jerk chicken. It’s not fusion, but you might call it “pan-bar.” The sandwiches are good, but I only order them because I can eat French fries.

library alehouse, santa monica, los angeles, ca - beer taps
is that a beer tap or are you just happy…
library alehouse, santa monica, los angeles, ca - hefeweizen
i drink hefe and…miller lite

Library Alehouse does not serve liquor. *sigh* However, they do offer wine and a very respectable list of beers on tap, which I know only because there is a long row of taps along the side wall of the bar. Normally, I am a cocktail queen, but boozers can’t be choosers, so wine is fine. Beer is only my very last resort, though I am beginning to develop a taste for Hefeweizen. And Miller Light. Are the two related?

I have only been to the Alehouse a half dozen times, but every time I go there, I wish I lived within walking distance of the place so that I could sit there all evening sipping on drinks, eating free multi-colored chips and salsa, maybe ordering a burger or something else off the slightly above standard bar-style menu, and basically shooting the ish with Mr. Furley. “Within walking distance” means I can pull my hair into a high, side ponytail, wear fuschia hotpants, and rollerskate there, just like Chrissy Snow.

Library Alehouse
2911 Main Street
Santa Monica, CA 90405

** a year ago today, jonathon gold commented on canal club!!! **

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  • Neil

    Finally, some place that I’ve actually been to!

    Also, considering your recent 500th post, I think when you reach 600 (or your next birthday), you need to throw a party catered by ten of your favorite restaurants.

  • Anonymous

    Good place!!!

    Jonathan Gold commented? I’m jealous.


  • Anonymous

    A great place to grab a beer.

  • jackt

    If I were a Friends character I’d be the monkey. Monkeys kick ass.

  • nosh

    I always thought Three’s Company was set in San Diego…

  • sarah

    neil: will you come to my birthday party? actually, i don’t care if you’re there or not. could you just make sure that sophia comes? ;)

    mel fox: actually, the commenter signed it as “j. gold.” it could have been some random person named jennifer gold, the long lost relative of tracey gold, the actress from growing pains (another one of my favorite shows!) who had an eating disorder.

    anonymous: i agree! beer! as long as it has fruit as a garnish ;)

    jackt: *gasp!* how could i forget the MONKEY!!! and i love monkeys!!! omg…i suck so bad it’s painful i can’t believe i forgot the monkey!!! you know how most adolescent girls, when asked what their favorite animal is, say either a DOLPHIN or a HORSE? i always said MONKEY!!! jackt, if the delicious life were Friends, and you were the monkey, we’d definitely be hanging out.

    nosh: wait. crap. is it san diego?!?! no, i swear int he opening seqeunce i see the gateway to the santa monica pier. or maybe i’m just hallucinating…

  • nosh

    I thought there were zoo scenes in the opening sequence, at least during some seasons, which led me to think S.D. rather than L.A.

  • Stephanie

    You would be Coupling, and your character would be Susan. “Men always want Susan’s number. It’s her tiny little bottom isn’t it? Tiniest, little bottom in the world. It’s like two tiny puppies in a tiny little sack! That’s why she bounces when she walks. Her little bottom is just so happy with all the tiny littleness in the world. Probably sings in the shower. It’s the Walt Disney arse!”

    Nah, you’re more of a Sally, come to think of it.

  • Anonymous

    I haven’t been to library alehouse in a long time (b/c i am an eastsider and SM is tooo far) but I remember liking it a lot. They had this cool beer tasting option. Have you ever been to father’s office? They have really good fries and burgers. and they have two beers that i like: alaskan red ale and chimay (there are different kinds but i think its the chimay bleu aka grande reserve). Chimay is made by monks and the profits go to good causes AND it has higher alcohol content than other beers. I usually only like pale ales, but i like chimay, plus it’s served in its own special glass. hanna

  • RT

    The Beagle does exist: it’s just called the Cellar, and it’s in Century City. It’s a really tacky, tacky place. The only decent reason to go there is because it’s the closest bar to the office.

    As for the Library, it’s one of my favorite places in Santa Monica. The food is good, the beer menu is huge (yes, they have a beer menu with detailed descriptions of each beer), and you can do beer flights, so you can actually take advantage of that menu.

    Oh yeah: hefeweizen is a style of beer: specifically, a style of wheat beer, while Miller Lite is a pilsner (of sorts). If you want to try other wheat beers, you might lik Blue Moon, especially since it’s usually served with an orange slice garnish.

  • Dolores

    ‘scuse me… playing catch-up on the Delicious life here…

    Nothing will ever replace Brandon and Dylan. Nothing.

    Amen sister.

    And may I add the corollary that no one will ever replace Buffy, Willow and Xander. No one.

    Who were every bit as special as the extended Walsh family. For a completely different non-yellow-bus definition of “special”

  • Sitcom Addict

    The Regal Beagle wasn’t navy blue and white. It was red and brown. I bet this place looks nothing like the Regal Beagle. The Foxfire Room in Sherman Oaks is probably closer to the real thing than the Library Alehouse.

  • Sitcom Addict

    The Regal Beagle wasn’t navy blue and white. It was red and brown. I bet this place looks nothing like the Regal Beagle. The Foxfire Room in Sherman Oaks is probably closer to the real thing than the Library Alehouse.

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