You know how when you start a new sport, you get all excited? You read every book ever written by the last ten tour champions, even the books that are just “memoirs” not just the “how-to” books. You rent out the entire shelf of instructional videos at the boutique video store because Blockbuster only carries DVD movies and Blockbuster doesn’t carry those other types of videos, and truth be told, you still haven’t upgraded from your VCR yet. Best of all, you go shopping for a whole new wardrobe to go with that sport – like omgtotallycute! saddle shoes with the fringe on top, little khaki mini skirts that are still long enough to keep you respectable when you’re leaning over to pick up your ball, super low ankle socks with pompoms, sleeveless polo shirts so you don’t get a painfully obvious farmers’ tan – and then you go out and blow nine months of google adsense revenue that you haven’t even earned yet on the most technologically advanced equipment for that sport, which would be Honma but that’s ridiculous so you go one level down for Callaways which are still so expensive you could have bought a Yugo, because the better equipment you have, the more likely you will be the next…Tigress Woods? You know how you do that?
Oh, come on now. Don’t say you didn’t go out and spend $1800 on snowboarding gear last winter. I know you did.
See, I have noticed that people do that. They don’t even have to be learning a brand new sport. They could just be stuck on the plateau of mediocrity, so they go to Sport Chalet and buy the most expensive tennis racket in the store, because clearly, if it’s the most expensive, then clearly, it’s the best, and clearly, they will send aces over the net harder and and faster than
Kevin Federline. Roger Federline. Roger Federer.
First of all, the most expensive equipment is not always the best equipment.
Secondly, whether or not it is the most expensive or somewhere just below most expensive, high-performance, cutting edge, awesome equipment will not make you an amazing athlete.
I will repeat it for the ones who were distracted by the Nike and Gatorade commericals.
Amazing equipment will not make you an amazing athlete.
A championship athlete is amazing because of pure, raw talent. The equipment is just for…endorsements. Andre Agassi is a naturally gifted tennis player, so he will beat your fuzzy green balls straight into the grass with a wooden tennis racket that has three strings missing.
So truly, I have no idea why I am in possession of a very expensive, very powerful pink KitchenAid stand mixer because I have confessed multiple times that I absolutely totally 100% suck at the sport of…baking, and no piece of kitchen gadgetry is going to change that. It is like giving $400 Reeboks to Kevin Federline in the hopes that he will be able to dance as well as Justin Timberlake. Hey, dancing is a sport, you know.
Aha! But baking is not a sport. It is a science! Ahahahaha! Yes! Baking is a science! It is chemistry and physics with a little biology thrown in for good ingredients. That means equipment matters! Yes! You must have the proper equipment. I mean you wouldn’t perform a dialysis in a Mason jar, would you? Of course not.
I made very simple strawberry muffins that could have been made in a pasta bowl with a wooden spoon, but I wanted to rock them dirty with my chamillion watt pink KitchenAid stand mixer. That is what we do when we have power. We use it for really stupid things that don’t need it, just so we can beat up on unsuspecting, undeserving, defenseless little strawberries. Yes. *growl* Power. Just call me The Tigress.
Simple Strawberry Muffins with Crumb Topping
Preheat the oven to 375.
Stir together ¼ c. all-purpose flour, ¼ c. granulated sugar, and ¼ c. brown sugar. Cut in 4 T. cold butter until it looks like coarse crumbs. Set aside.
Stir together 1 c. all-purpose flour, 1 c. whole wheat flour, ½ c. granulated sugar, 1 T. baking powder, ½ tsp. baking soda, and a pinch of salt.
In a separate bowl, whisk together 2 large eggs, ¼ c. (½ stick) melted butter, 1 tsp. vanilla extract, and 1 c. buttermilk.
Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix gently only until combined. Fold in 1½ c. coarsely chopped strawberries.
Ladle/scoop/spoon batter into muffin tin, sprinkle with crumb topping, and bake 15-20 minutes.
** a year ago today, burgers with a side of a great big hug and kiss from me to you **