For painfully obvious reasons (or is it “obviously painful?”) I will be foregoing the hot girl-on-grill action this third and last of the three biggest grilling weekends of the year. A tragedy, really, with all the burgers, steaks, and ribs that have been taunting me. Incidentally, for the 20,000+ posts on TasteSpotting, there aren’t that many burgers. Of the ones we have, these are the most popular as determined by my top secret voodoo algorithm.
But even if I weren’t already planning to squeeze various combinations of blogging, formatting, styling, working, writing, strategizing, and pseudocoding into the commercial breaks during college football game day, I’d still skip the thrill of the grill because…why? Why start grilling now? I already missed out on the first two of the three biggest grilling weekends of the year: Memorial Day weekend, which is the official unofficial kickoff to the equally officially unofficial Grilling Season, and the 4th of July. Last time I checked the food bloggie handbook (which, admittedly, wasn’t all too recent), missing out on grilling weekends is cardinal sin. Seeking atonement with a single weekend, and at the end of the season at that, isn’t going to get me off the fast track to Semi-homemade Hell. I am a perfectionist anyway. A reliable, compulsively consistent, detail-oriented freak of a perfectionist, and if I’m going to skip a season, I’m going to skip it All. The. Way. No summer! No grilling!
Speaking of cardinal sins, I am led by free association to scarlet…and though I could wear a giant scarlet letter A on my chest for foodblogger adulteration (somehow, that doesn’t seem to be the right word), it will be a big fat O – that’s “oh,” not “zero,” mind you – for The Ohio State. I won’t be grilling burgers to watch college football, but will be making that equally all-American college game day food…
Enjoy the long weekend. Grill some burgers. I’ll be here, working away.