Waffles – Every Food Blogger Should Have a Waffle Maker

belgian waffle for lazy saturday brunch
Every girl should know how to do a lazy weekend brunch. There are just those some certain times when you have a guest who unexpectedly turns into an *ahem* overnight guest who subsequently turns into a weekend guest. On Saturday morning, if you throw a box of stale Special K and a half empty carton of expired milk on the counter, he probably won’t come back as a weekend guest again. If forcing premature evacuation was the plan from the get-go, well, I’m not saying anything about your trashy lifestyle.

I’m just saying.

I’m just saying that it doesn’t hurt to maintain an arsenal of brunch recipes for those some certain times, particularly since brunch foods have the highest ROI – that’s “return on investment” if you have your MBA, and “return on investment” if we’re talking about impressing that overnight guest with something that only you need to know is fairly simple. Obscenely creamy scrambled eggs. Omelet overflowing with cheese. French toast. Even a plate of nachos made “brunch” with a couple of poached eggs running their sunny yolks all over a pile of chips is better than Pop Tarts you have to serve “raw” because the toaster is broken.

Every girl should know how to do brunch, and if she’s good, she should know how to do waffles because, with the exception of say, Eggs Florentine and Quiche made ultra-feminine with bacon, sausage, three kinds of cheese and jalapeño, waffles are the most awe-inspiring dish on the brunch menu. That waffles are the crowning achievement of almostalliterative tetrabalance – tendercrisp texture, toasted sweet taste – alone is enough to stir a weekend guest. However, it’s the unique requirement of their own specialized equipment to deliver geometric perfection of the culinary kind that will make shut eyes wide.

Every girl should have a waffle iron.

Every girl should know how to do brunch, and if she’s good, she will have a waffle iron. But if she’s really good, if you’re really good, if you’re just that good, you’ll know ho to do waffles for a lazy weekend brunch. Once you realize that “ho” isn’t a typo, you won’t need a waffle iron.

No, not a waffle iron; every girl should have a waffle maker.

Mine was standing on the other side of the counter island bedheaded in baby blue pajama bottoms, white t-shirt, and what made me blush as I watched, glasses. It had been so long, I had forgotten how a boy in glasses can make me glow.

Waffles.

*giggling*

I don’t think I need a waffle iron just yet.

** a year ago today, “foodie” is a badge of shame **
** two years ago today, insurgent histamines launched a full allergy attack **

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  • Syd

    HAHAHA!!! I love the slutty spin you put on this.

    Good advice, btw.

  • christianne

    very funny AND true! a gal’s gotta have supplies!

  • christianne

    very funny AND true! a gal’s gotta have supplies!

  • Larissa

    Mmmm…I’ve been obsessed with breakfast food recently. Namely pancakes and waffles. I just went to The Pantry in downtown LA where they have AMAZING pancakes.

  • claire

    A smart tip for any woman hoping to lure that guest through the organ closest to his heart (rather than his brain, which lies beneath it). A stack of pancakes with crisp bacon, or scrambled eggs made with heavy cream and crab will easily do the trick.

  • claire

    A smart tip for any woman hoping to lure that guest through the organ closest to his heart (rather than his brain, which lies beneath it). A stack of pancakes with crisp bacon, or scrambled eggs made with heavy cream and crab will easily do the trick.

  • H. C.

    Did the ROI include taking you to dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant? If so — Score! :)

  • Tim

    I just rediscovered your recipe for pumpkin cheesecake you posted on Slashfood two(!) years ago. I was the one who baked it successfully on the first try :D Anyways, it’s that time of year again, so I shall be making one this week. Wish me luck!

    -Tim

  • Tim

    I just rediscovered your recipe for pumpkin cheesecake you posted on Slashfood two(!) years ago. I was the one who baked it successfully on the first try :D Anyways, it’s that time of year again, so I shall be making one this week. Wish me luck!

    -Tim

  • justJENN

    Sexy waffles!

  • Michele Morris

    I was just linked to your blog from another site, and browsing through went back to your tirade about “foodies”. I think somehow you’ve missed the mark about what a foodie is – it’s simply someone who’s obsessed with eating food, talking about food, learning about food, shopping for food, and all things food related – whether that’s the best gelato in Italy, the new Safeway that opened with a nut butter bar, or the fries you ate at McDonald’s this week. It doesn’t label someone a snob!

  • Michele Morris

    I was just linked to your blog from another site, and browsing through went back to your tirade about “foodies”. I think somehow you’ve missed the mark about what a foodie is – it’s simply someone who’s obsessed with eating food, talking about food, learning about food, shopping for food, and all things food related – whether that’s the best gelato in Italy, the new Safeway that opened with a nut butter bar, or the fries you ate at McDonald’s this week. It doesn’t label someone a snob!

  • sarah

    syd: slutty? are you calling someone slutty? it better be me…

    christianne: and by “supplies” i hope you mean “cute boys”

    larissa: i am ALWAYS obsessed with breakfast and brunch foods, but only lately with sweet ones like waffles and pancakes. must be something in the air ;)

    joanh: totally easy when your “waffle maker” makes them for you!

    claire: whoa. scrambled eggs with crab

    h.c.: well, i guess it actually worked backwards since i bought sushi the night before, i guess the return on my dinner was the waffles!

    tim: wow…two years ago! glad it’s become an annual guest on your dinner table :)

    just jenn: my thought precisely

    the kitchen coach: i don’t think i missed the point re: the word “foodie”…the point that i was trying to make was that in many of the contexts in which i hear the word, it’s being used by someone to indicate someone who is, in some way, at some elevated status that may or may not be justified, i.e. snob.

    but i do know exactly what you’re talking about…someone who loves everything about food, no matter what it is, eating, cooking etc. it’s just that i haven’t yet heard a single word to describe all that.

  • hermz

    What is it with aerodynazns and boys in glasses? My last gf, when I donned the specs… holy pancit!

  • hermz

    What is it with aerodynazns and boys in glasses? My last gf, when I donned the specs… holy pancit!

  • Megancake

    I have a hello kitty waffle iron that makes mini waffles, they are super cute, yet I’ve only used it twice (I have had it two years!)

  • sarah j. gim

    hermz: i think it’s the look of intellect :)

    cereal lady: hello kitty waffles?!?! invite me over for brunch!!! and i want PINK syrup!

  • Megancake

    you can make great waffles in them, pink syrup though? maybe I could find raspberry or strawberry syrup thats pink. I could do pink whipped cream! you will have to come for a later brunch though as the waffles are pretty small and only make 4 at a time so it takes like an hour to make 20!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/jt3_11 Jeff

    Chilaquiles.

    I had an ex that would make chilaquiles for brunch on those weekends that I’d end up staying at her place. Best. Girlfriend. Ever.

    Anyhow, just wanted to say that it’s a little after 4am where I’m at and I somehow stumbled onto your blog about four hours ago and have since been reading posts non-stop. On one hand I think you’re wonderful for keeping me entertained for the last four hours but on the other hand I greatly dislike you for keeping me up until 4am and for causing me to now have another food blog to visit on a regular basis. Granted, I could have just bookmarked your site and come back to it at a normal time but that would make too much sense. Only two more years of posts to catch up on…almost there! Thanks for the entertainment and the great entries about so many of the places and things I miss about LA.

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