Almond Joy Martini – Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut

almond joy martini, garnished with chocolate syrup swirl

There’s no denying that I have a massive sweet tooth. Enamel-eroding candy and chocolate, cookies, sticky gooey cakes and pies, oozing with melted ice cream, caramel and fudge – they have sent me into root canal therapy more than once; even more than once on the same tooth.

However, when it comes to cocktails, I am not so fond of “sweet.” I love the idea of thick, creamy, delicious drinks as sweet as dessert, but when I actually drink one, it triggers my *gag* reflex the way roast beef and Rice Krispies treats send me into childhood pukedom. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that sweet drinks are always to blame for the most miserable mornings-after. I think there might be some science behind sugar-laced cocktails having rougher consequences than say, my drink of choice, Absolut Citron and soda (not sugary cola soda, but club soda). But don’t quote me on that.

I do make exception every once in a while, though, and the occasion for exception arose with the Almond Joy Martini, perfect for this month of evil delicious candy, don’t you think?

Almond Joy. Oh, the Almond Joy candy bar. The Almond Joy, while it certainly brings to mind right away that I almost always feel like a nut, also brings me back to the Special Dark Effect. In case you just joined us in our Delicious little cocktail hour, the Special Dark Effect is a phenomenon in which the clear bag of Hershey’s Miniatures always ends up with nothing but Special Dark left because no one likes Special Dark, except the special few who actually have taste but are too cheap to buy Valrhona so will settle for Special Dark until they get a job or land a Sugar Daddy. Literally. And figuratively. And literally.

Now I present the Almond Joy Addendum to the Special Dark Effect. If we forget about Hershey’s Miniatures and look instead to a Costco-sized Fun-Pack Mix of Hershey’s chocolates specially combined for Halloween that contains, alphabetically now because I will show no preference for the moment, Almond Joy, Butterfinger, Hershey’s Milk Chocolate, KitKat, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, what do you think is the last candy bar left?

Yes! Butterfinger! At the very bottom of the almost empty bag, there will be a collection of putrid mustard yellow and blue Buttefingers because Butterfinger is quite possibly the most disgusting candy bar on earth.

But we are talking about the Almond Joy Addendum, so the second to last is Almond Joy. The jingle rings automatically in your head, doesn’t it, that sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t, but let’s face it, most people feel like a Snickers, sometimes a Milky Way. Almond Joy and Mounds are those non-specialty specialty chocolate candy bars that are made for people who like the taste of gooey shreds of paper, sometimes topped with an oddly chewy, rubbery almond.

I am one of those people.

That is why I drank an Almond Joy Martini. Because I am one of the special (dark) few.

And I still had a wicked headache in the morning.

almond joy martini, sans accessories

Almond Joy Martini Recipe

Serves 4. Or 2. Ok, come on. It serves 1 when your name is Sarah J Gim on a Friday night at home.

Ingredients:

1 oz. coconut flavored rum
1 oz. Frangelico (or hazelnut flavored liqueur)
1 oz. Godiva chocolate liqueur
1 oz. vodka
1 oz. Hershey’s chocolate syrup
4 oz. half & half

Directions:

Shake 1 oz. each of coconut-flavored rum (Parrot Bay or Malibu), Frangelico (if you don’t feel like a nut, leave the Frangelico out), Godiva (or other chocolate-flavored liqueur), Hershey’s chocolate syrup, and vodka. Add 4 oz. of half and half or light cream, shake with ice, then strain into a chilled glass.

The real recipe says to garnish with shredded coconut, which would look very cool on the rim (rub rim of glass with rum, then dip into shredded coconut), but have you ever eaten straight, “raw” shredded coconut?!?! It tastes like coconut-flavored uncooked instant ramen.

Gross.

Instead, garnish with a swirl of Hershey’s chocolate syrup on top.

** originally published October 2006 **
** a year ago today, i made spinach and mushroom curry over a tofu cutlet. fancy. **

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  • s@bd

    that looks ABSOLUTELY AMAZING

  • H. C.

    but what about days when you don’t feel like a nut? (I’m sure there’s a Mounds-tini recipe floating around somewhere ;) ) — great recipe, and I have most of the ingredients so will give it a whirl this weekend. (and I,too, don’t care much for coconut shreds)

  • ~ Wayne

    Thanks for the Halloween treat idea for grownups. I can’t handle the sweet drinks, but I know some peeps who would love to try this.

    PS- send ME your butterfingers – I will trade for Almond Joys

  • Acme Instant Food

    *wagging finger in the air*
    Oh no you did’int insult my Rice Krispy treats!!! They are sacred to me.

    Oh yeah, I’m with ya on the pukey sweet drinks. Like a one-way ticket to headache-ville.

  • Dolores

    My ex *adored* Butterfinger bars.

    Yeah.

    That should have been a clue…

  • Acme Instant Food

    Hey, I love Butterfingers!

  • sarah

    l.a.c.: i don’t dress up for halloween.

    s@bd: thanks! :) but i didn’t make it. my favorite boozy willy wonka made it!

    h.c.: i like mounds, and in fact, since almond joy’s almond is almost always strangely chewy…but something about the name “mounds” just, i dunno, creeps me out. LOL!

    wayne: you could just leave out the chocolate syrup and cream and drink just the vodka part….oh wait. never mind.

    acme: i can eat rk treats now, when someone shoves one my way, and i am okay with them, but i don’t crave them or even really like them all that much. i seriously had massive post-puke trauma with those things.

    cc: from now on, like a bad combover and a pinkie ring, butterfingers are a stop sign on men – avoid at all costs! okay, except for wayne and acme. ;)

  • H. C.

    haha, especially in light of the fact that “mounds” is brown and lumpy…. sorry- of course I meant the candy bar! (and I just realize how gross my “there’s a mounds-tini *floating* around somewhere” sounds)

  • H. C.

    haha, especially in light of the fact that “mounds” is brown and lumpy…. sorry- of course I meant the candy bar! (and I just realize how gross my “there’s a mounds-tini *floating* around somewhere” sounds)

  • Syd

    I am SO trying Citron and soda.

  • Hillary

    Oh man! I wish I knew this drink existed over the weekend. I would have tried to make myself one :)

  • Rococo Cocoa is Joe

    I made one last night, and it was FANTASTIC. Keep on, keepin’ on Sarah.

  • http://eventsbynoelle.com/blog TallNoe

    Now I have another drink to try for Thanksgiving… yay family holidays and drinks!!

  • http://delightfullysweet.wordpress.com Danielle

    What an amazing idea! I can’t wait to try it out!

  • Lola

    sweet idea…yes raw coconut shreds gross, but what about SWEETENED coconut shreds?! rim glass, drizzle drink with syrup, wake up the next morning 2 days later!!

  • Mista_meano2002

    jingro is on her way 2 liquor store! watch
     out now

  • Pingback: Trick Your Taste Buds With 20 Halloween Candy Cocktails [MASHABLE] | Workplace Emporium

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